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Paul's reaction mirrored that of my friends, sisters, and parents, so I clammed up.

I was working in a dead-end job, watching my friends get married one by one, and kissing my 20s good-bye, having apparently missed the "Saturn Return," that astrologically significant period that occurs between the ages of 28 and 30 and is supposed to be marked by accomplishment, power, and prestige.

I canceled evening plans more than once just so I could go home, change into my pajamas, and curl up in bed with the phone.

But it was at night that our talks really picked up steam.Even my therapist got uncharacteristically direct and said he didn't like what was happening.One day, I was in a taxi with my good friend Patty when Jamie called.At the time, I was nearing 30 and working as a secretary at a big investment bank in New York City—not exactly the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.So I checked out his profile immediately, but wrote him off just as fast—he lived in the Midwest and, more importantly, hadn't posted a photo.

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