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If they whole family cannot go, then couples counseling for you and your husband could be quite useful too.
The structural problem in your marriage and family situation needs to be addressed and hopefully corrected.
It is as though a fence or boundary has been drawn around the adults which functions to keep their secrets inside and to unify them in front of their children.
It’s not so much that having this idealized boundary around the adults in a household is so great in of itself.
Households where children from prior marriages are combined are perhaps particularly vulnerable to this sort of thing happening, for reasons which will hopefully become clear in a moment.Family therapists call this sort of problem a boundary issue.In an idealized household, the adult couple functions as an integrated unit, at least as far as their children are concerned.Also, the child’s successful manipulation of the adult caregiver isn’t good for the child.She is rewarded, essentially, for dominating her caregiver and comes to see her caregiver as weak.