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But women have these menopausal symptoms because they have adrenal fatigue, because long before menopause, their hormones are already out of balance, and they were actually getting a lot of their energy from cortisol, the stress hormone, which does give you energy, but it depletes you of energy over time.Abel: How do you endogenously build the hormones we need?I’m going to go out and check out the danger.” What will happen is my estrogen will go up and her testosterone will go up, and when she comes back in, I’ll be saying, “Would you hold me?I’m still scared.” And nothing’s going to happen that night.But if you reverse it, and I say, “Okay, hold on, I’m going to go out and check. One of the dangers of taking hormones—certainly the synthetic hormones doctors prescribe, they’ve proven now—from my point of view, when I see all the research, is that they cause cancer. The danger for so many men with low testosterone—even teenagers now with low testosterone, which is shocking—what’s happening is we have an easy fix.I’ll do the dangerous thing,” my testosterone will go up, and her estrogen is going to go up, because she feels this… It will stimulate a hormonal brew that will cause us to stay up all night and have a fun time. The way you’re talking about this, I’m thinking that social stimulation is almost like a nutrient. Go and take some testosterone creams that make your body lean for a while.On the show, you’ll learn: Abel: I am thrilled to be here this week with John Gray, Ph D, the bestselling relationship author of all time. Well, you can always imagine you’re going to get what you need if you have no history.He’s written over 20 books, including the New York Times number one bestselling book of the last decade, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. It’s only after disappointment: “Oh, they’re not perfect. I thought that would happen.” That bumps down the serotonin back to the level of “Every human being is flawed and imperfect.” But every human being has beautiful qualities, wonderful qualities.
Which is probably why there are so many more women who will see their doctors than men. I could ask my mother for some money to help me go back to school and so forth. I need something.” That’s what women go through every month. If you would just do this, I would be happy.” Because there’s this place of emptiness in there, and it will last the whole month to various degrees. For the next 18 days, pair bonding doesn’t lower her stress. After ovulation, progesterone is the hormone that lowers her stress, not estrogen. So, pair bonding doesn’t lower her stress; she doesn’t get the pair bonding during those five days, her brain is still looking for the pair bonding.His books have sold more than 50 million copies in 50 different languages around the world. You know the old saying of, is the glass half full or is it half empty? When you can see the fullness along with the emptiness, then you’re a happy, fulfilled person, and that’s what our relationships can train us to be. I kind of took that idea from the time management courses, where they’ll often say people spend 80% of their time wasting it on things that aren’t productive and 20% of the time on what’s really earning a living and being most productive.You may have seen him on TED, Oprah, Larry King, Dr. What I see is that people will often spend 80% of their time and energy trying to make their relationship work, rather than switch it around and have a life that’s providing 80% of your fulfillment, your friendships, your worth, your self-love, your prayer, your personal growth, your exercise, your diet. Then what happens is you look to your partner for 20% of your fulfillment, and it takes you to a higher level. Forty years I’ve been teaching this stuff, and every year it evolves.For example, if I take my wife on a romantic date, it will bump her estrogen up.If we’re playing cards with friends it will bump her progesterone up.