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But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.

So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.

Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

For example, clean up the house every third day instead of the second. Once you prioritize, other things just have to come second and third.Question from Barbara: I'm currently dating a gentleman very sweet in every aspect. It is very intimate to let someone into your home and it may set up expectations for a fuller relationship that you're not ready for.We both are widowed, and we have gone out, but I'm not ready to invite him into my home. Still, there is an arch to relationships: They either get more or less intimate. It hasn't been clear that someone was asking the question about a gay relationship.PS: I think day trips for singles are a good idea, or maybe even three days.But a longer trip, if you don't really find someone interesting, would be a problem if you were trapped, say, on a boat or mountaintop.

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