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When adopted successfully, the “Not Me” identity is much less threatening and has no defense mechanisms that can hide away our feelings and desires.
The technique is simple, but powerful when it comes to sexual dysfunction. Lloyd, “Female Sexual Arousal: Genital Anatomy and Orgasm in Intercourse,” Horm Behav.
This is the Gestalt–inspired technique that was used to solve Chloe and Joe’s problem.Orgasms also inhibit activity in the “fear center” of the brain, lowering our anxiety and our production of stress hormones. For these reasons, satisfying sex has been demonstrated to decrease stress, strengthen the immune system, lower risk of cardiovascular disease, improve sleep and increase longevity. They become used to touching themselves in a certain arousing way that men usually think they know about, but often don’t. But the dialogues that I encourage between genitals help a couple eliminate such cluelessness and surface ways to make each member of a couple happy.